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Frequently Asked FAQs

"OK, I got rid of all my smoke detectors. So... if my house catches on fire I just call the fire department, right?"

No! The fire department is SOCIALISM! 

It was invented for people too LAZY put out their own FIRES!

All you need is some MOTIVATION and a CAN DO attitude!

"Well... OK but what if there's a fire in my house too big for me to control?"

What if a METEOR lands on your head?!

STOP worrying so much! Turn off the LAME STREAM MEDIA and don't watch so many HOLLYWOOD movies. They make MONEY by making YOU scared! 

It's not going to happen!

"I just really think I should have a plan in case a fire...."

SHUT UP!

"Who are you and why are you doing this?"

It just shows how SICK this country is that people are SURPRISED to find someone telling the TRUTH about smoke detectors.

If the FOUNDING FATHERS were here today this is ALL they would talk about!

"Are smoke detectors a metaphor for vaccines?"

I have no idea what you're talking about.

"Are you making a lot of money off this website?"

I'M TRYING TO BUT IT'S NOT GOING VERY WELL SO FAR!

"Oh, because you're telling people should remove their smoke detectors and stab themselves?"

MAYBE.

"Did News  Infection  buy saynotosmokedetectors.com ?"

" Did News Infection â€‹buy saynotosmokedetectors.com?"

No, we just wanted to talk about things other than smoke detectors.

"Some of your content seems controversial. Are you worried you might get in trouble for it?"

Are you worried about being such a weenie?!

"I saw someone posting your content online but they claimed it was theirs and they didn't link back to this site. Did you give them permission?"

You SHOW them to me! I WILL find them! I will find them and make them regret they EVER crossed me. The things I will DO to them, they will have to write new chapters in MEDICAL textbooks! It will NOT be cool and I will live in SHAME but it's what I'm going to DO!

"I have a great idea for your website! Can I send it to you?

Sure, send your writing sample or whatever to editor@newsinfection.com